


Soothe me

by Tayani



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Fluff, Gift Fic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21952948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tayani/pseuds/Tayani
Summary: Goro wakes up after a frighteningly familiar nightmare.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 12
Kudos: 243
Collections: Shuake SS Gift Exchange 2019





	Soothe me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [luckiecharms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckiecharms/gifts).



> This is a fic written for Shuake Secret Santa 2019! Merry Christmas, I hope you enjoy it ^^

_No matter how many times he had seen this nightmare, it was never any easier to go through._

_Goro’s eyes opened wide, taking in his surroundings. It all looked so real – so real, and at the same time, so frighteningly distorted. The windowless corridor; the sound of his footsteps, carrying him forward no matter how hard he tried to go back. The white, clinical lamplight making his shadow cut deep into the tiled floor. The length of the walk, distorting more and more the longer he walked, so that at one point, Goro could see neither the beginning nor the end of the corridor. The steel door to the left, coming closer and closer with every step._

_The weight of the gun in his hand._

_The door swung open, like it had done a thousand times already. Like every time before, Goro looked around the barren room, trying hard not to look at its only occupant. He didn’t rise the hand he was holding the gun with or press the trigger, but it wasn’t needed. There, right before him, Joker laid in the pool of his own blood, the eternal expression of hurt surprise on his face._

“No—!”

Akechi Goro gasped, sitting up on the bed. His eyes were wide open, his breath laboured. A sob tore itself from his throat as his fingers wound tightly into the sheets, trying to stop his hands from trembling. Again. _Again_. The same dream, mocking him, torturing him endlessly; and why, when it was done, when it was already—

“Goro?”

The quiet, sleepy voice coming from the place beside him made Goro jump. His eyes were wild as they met a pair of confused, silver ones, peering up at him.

The eyes of Amamiya Ren; the eyes of the man he—

Before he could stop himself, Goro started to cry. It was ugly; broken and uncontrollable, his sobs tore through his body, made him shake and gasp for breath. The next moment, he felt strong, warm, _alive_ arms around him, comforting him, caressing his hair and rubbing his back. His face has been pressed against soft skin, his nose filled with Ren’s scent, ears with Ren’s soft voice and steady, gradual breathing.

“Shhh… it was just another nightmare, love. It’s alright. You’re here; so am I. We’re okay.”

It didn’t seem okay – not then, with Ren’s bloody forehead and lifeless eyes still so fresh in Goro’s memory. But with every second, _that_ image became overshadowed with another one – one of Ren’s gentle expression and the worry in his voice, his sweet kisses against Goro’s temple and his kind, reassuring words.

It took a long time before Goro felt strong enough to pull away from the little bubble of safety and warmth Ren’s arms provided him. The look his lover met him with almost made him hide his face in the crook of Ren’s neck all over again.

“Another one?”

Ren’s question was careful, his eyes searching for any leftover discomfort in Goro’s expression. The former detective hesitated and nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment. He knew he didn’t exactly need to elaborate – this wasn’t the first time he’s had this nightmare. And it wasn’t the first time Ren had comforted him through it.

“How bad…?”

“ _Bad_ ,” Goro whispered, voice choked-up and hoarse. His hands came up now, twisting in Ren’s shirt, pulling him close. His lover didn’t try to move away; indeed, he leaned in willingly, pressing a trembling kiss against Goro’s forehead. The brunet had to fight off bitter laughter threatening to spill – Ren had kissed him right where, just months ago, _he_ —

As if reading his thoughts, Ren’s lips slipped lower, pressing against Goro’s own. For just a moment, Goro felt his mind turn blissfully blank – this was the strange, wonderful power of Ren’s kisses. They had the ability to make Goro forget everything, even the ugly truth of who he was, of the fact he was less than deserving of the sweetness these kisses provided. And, selfishly, Goro chased after that feeling, prolonged that kiss, made himself drown in it. If he could only get lost in Ren’s warmth, if he could forget, stay like this forever…

“Goro…” Ren’s whisper was a melody in his ear, gentle and forgiving. He kissed him again, as if Goro was someone special, someone precious and in need of comfort. As if he wasn’t the one who, just months ago, pointed a gun at the very man who tried to comfort him now, as if he didn’t—

“Look at me,” Ren said, cupping Goro’s cheeks in his hands and forcing their eyes to meet. Goro tried to look away; he couldn’t bear the sweetness in Ren’s look, he didn’t deserve—

“Stop,” Ren frowned, pressing their foreheads together. It was a bit rough, the way he’d done it; it hurt a little bit, but that was alright. It made Goro focus, at least. The former detective blinked, looking mutely at his lover.

“Stop thinking all that. I can _see_ you going onto another self-loathing spin, Goro. What happened in the past is in the past. It’s behind us already.”

Ren’s voice was so serious; the voice of a leader, used to being obeyed. Goro found himself wanting desperately to give in, his armour breaking under every gentle, comforting word.

“Goro…” Ren sighed, closing his eyes and kissing him again. This time, Goro responded in kind; tentative and shy, he kissed his lover back, his hands coming up to circle around Ren’s wrists, holding him in place. It was a different kiss from their usual ones. It was neither filled with passion nor impatient; this was sweet and gentle and full of…

“Goro, I love you,” Ren whispered against his lips; the three words that made Goro’s heart shatter in his chest, same as they always did. The impossible, ridiculous sentiment given to him by the man he betrayed and tried to kill; the man he wished to destroy; the man he envied and the man he _adored_.

“I love you,” Ren repeated after pulling back, the moment he saw Goro finally look him in the eyes. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you’re alive; I’m glad we’ve managed to pull you out of there, that you let us save you. I’m so glad I met you, Goro…”

Another sob; short and broken escaped the former detective. He slumped forward, suddenly feeling very tired. His lips curled in a weak smile.

“You’re impossible,” he finally managed to whisper back. His voice was wrecked; now the adrenaline from the nightmare subsided a little bit, Goro felt incredibly weary. And Ren’s arms were so warm and inviting; he wanted to melt into them and never come back. He heard more than saw Ren’s smile the next time his lover spoke.

“You’re one to talk,” he said softly, kissing Goro’s ear. They sat like this, curled up into one another, in comfortable silence. By the time Ren spoke again, Goro was almost asleep once more.

“…I mean it, you know,” Ren said. This time, his voice was hushed. “You have nightmares of losing me…”

“ _Killing_ you, you mean,” Goro interrupted, bitterly. Ren shook his head.

“I have nightmares, too. When that divider rose, back there, in the engine room; when I thought I lost you. It felt like my heart has been wrenched out of my chest, Goro. I know you don’t… _understand_ how I feel. I know… you’ve been… you’ve been so alone your whole life, I understand you can’t really get how special you are to me. But I—”

Ren’s voice broke; Goro could hear, on the edge of his hearing, a little sob being stifled down. He tightened his hold.

“I love you, Ren,” Goro whispered, after another long, long silence. He moved away – the dawn was breaking behind their window and the grey, dusty light made the shadows fall strangely over their skins. They both looked very tired; but when Ren smiled at him, hearing these words, it was like a different sun appeared on the sky. And, for the first time since he woke up that night, Goro smiled genuinely as well.

“And I’m… I’m glad to be alive, too.”


End file.
